MizFitOnline

The end of 2011 was kind of a mess for me.

It was filled with great things yet I sensed in my heart I was teetering on the edge.

I felt thisclose to being someone who gave lip-service to what was important in her life & lived otherwise.

I felt thisclose to being the blogger who, while writing a post about the fabulousnessment of family time & family exercise!, snapped at her child “you need to WAIT.  I’ll play later. Mamas working!”

I did not like how being even *close* to reacting like that person felt.

As a result I spent lots of time formulating my 2012 mantra.

I needed something which wasnt only about or for me (Id grown a little too mememe by the end of 2011) and words which would constantly remind me of who I aspired to be.

I chose  the phrase living my priorities.  It felt fitting and, only 27 days into the year, has already challenged me in ways I couldnt have predicted.

Ive been reminded how difficult it is to say NO.

I have a hard & fast rule about never saying YES! in the moment. I always sit with an opportunity/make certain something is a fit before answering in the affirmative.  I do this with fun things, I do it with volunteer-stuffs, and I do it with work.

Many of the things Ive NO’ed to in the past 27 days looked *very* alluring at first glance, but when mashed up against my mantra were easily declined because they didnt ‘match up.’

Ive been reminded I still have a bad case of Freshman Year Syndrome.

When I was an undergrad I went out a lot.  Like every.single.night a lot for a while.

It wasnt so much I craved socializing & late nights and more the fact, at age 18, I feared something *amazing*  might happen and I wouldnt be there.

Ive NO’ed to stuff in the past 27 days where Ive paused and thought “…but what if theres some great! connection! to be made and Im not there?!”

But when Ive mashed the opportunity up against my3-word mantra Im reminded it’s ok.  I know all I need —truly need—I already have.

Ive been reminded how easy it can be to slip into fear-based living.

Ive let go of & said NO to opportunities which could have been amazing…for me.

Opportunities when mashed up against my mantra clearly fell outside the realm of living priorities *outside* of myself.

I felt the fear.  I felt the panic of “what if I say no now and no one wants me later?”  I almost caved. Frequently.

Yet when I mashed the ‘stuffs’ up against living what’s important to me I felt the fear, reminded myself of life’s abundance & NO’ed with faith.

Ive been reminded how my life is not all that unique.

Im writing this post not to preach or be ‘recognized’ for doing what I feel is a basic responsibility to those things we love & are important to us (be they people, passions, or causes).

Im writing it in response to so many of you who have reached out and asked how things are going now that we’re 5 months into the Garten of the Kinder.

Im writing in response to your collective responses of “I had to step back and decide what was important to me and only focus on that.  It all is too much if you dont.”

Im 27 days in. 

It’s more challenging than Id thought. 

Im stilling living my priorities—one long no-filled, boundary drawing day at a time.

Pictures by twentyfivetwentysix studios.

It was July 1998.

I was 23 years old.

I had been having pain and discomfort in my abdomen for months, but the doctors in upstate New York kept telling me I probably had a cyst and that “it would go away” and “not to worry about it”.

When I moved back to Long Island, I found a new doctor and during his first examination of my belly, he ordered for me to have a biopsy of the mass in my abdomen.

I told him “everyone said it’s just a cyst”.

He looked at me and said, “that’s no cyst. It’s way too hard to be a cyst. It’s a tumor”.

Yeah, he was blatant like that.

But he explained that it was likely to be benign and should be removed anyway just to relieve my discomfort, after which the mass would be biopsied, just to be sure. Ok, no problem.

So we scheduled the surgery and I thought nothing of it. I mean, I was just 23 years-old. I’d had cysts before, a few of which had ruptured causing terrible pain. So this was no biggie.

That was until a few days after the procedure when the doctor called me into his office for the test results. The discussion went something like this:

Dr.: “Irene, you have cancer.”
Me: “Uh, what?”

Dr.: “You have Stage 1 ovarian cancer, although I think we got it all.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I thought you just said I have cancer.”

Dr.: “Yes. I’m sorry. I know that is scary but you were very lucky. It was discovered very early and I think by removing the tumor, we most likely got all of it since I did not see and more masses anywhere.”

I just blinked at him, still not understanding what he was saying to me.

The doctor stood directly in front of me, grabbed my shoulders and said, “Irene. You have cancer. But it’s okay. It’s not a death sentence. You will be okay if you do exactly what I tell you to do.”

It took him a few more times before I could finally comprehend what he told me.

I was breathing again.

To say I was terrified was an understatement.

I heard cancer and immediately thought of all the things I never got to do. I thought my life was over and all I could imagine were all the things I missed in life: I’d never travel, get married, or finish college. I was going to die and I had barely started living yet.

The idea of going through chemotherapy after having had surgery and dealing with it all on my own was more than I could handle.

I became a bitchy, nasty mess. I told no one of my diagnosis. I just wallowed in my own misery. I became a terrible person.

A few months later, I was back to my old self.

My point?

I was lucky.

It wasn’t until I changed doctors until I finally found someone who would take my complaints seriously enough to test me. Sometimes, that’s what we have to do.

Because I was so vigilant, I was able to be diagnosed, treated, and healed with no additional signs of cancer 13 years later.

I am relatively healthy, strong, and living a very full life.

Do not be afraid to challenge your doctors.

Do not accept an answer that doesn’t make sense. Follow your instincts and listen to your gut.

If something is wrong, you are probably right. You know your body better than anyone else.

And sometimes you have to fight for it.

 Irene is a favorite of mine and I tremendously appreciate her sharing her experience here.  She blogs at House of Robertson.

I know Ren Man would readily agree he cares not about my brand partnerships.

If Im happy—he’s happy.

He puts up with my nonstop yammering loves to hear about them, but that’s about where it ends.  He rarely voices an opinion.

Except for this time.

When I shared with him I was partnering with Egg Beaters Whites he pretty much lost his mind.

And immediately asked if they’d consider paying me in product.

You see, this photo was *not* staged for the sake of the brand:

Neither was this photo where the child identified my favorite food as Egg Beaters for a school project (upper right corner):

I love my Beaters in every way shape & form I can get them.

Love. Love.

I also know we’ve established you (the royal) arent always lovers of the vlogs.

I ask you to indulge me & make 77 seconds for the snippet below.

If you *dont* giggle in the first 3 seconds you have my permission to click away.

Please to enjoy (& sing along if you know the words).

Now you.

Are you, too, a fan of all things Egg Beaters?
Are you perched on the edge of your office chair seat in excitement at the very thought of my testing recipes for you?
Will you be singing “MizFit loves Egg Beaters!” all day now as I will?

This post is sponsored by the amazing Egg Beaters Whites.  The unabashed LOVE is all my own.