SHHHHHHH. Experience the Silence.
Mon, Jan 26, 2009
(continuing with our theme of personal responsibility)
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ipVwuuUFF0
need a more specific challenge for the week? Work not to react to your mind during your times of silence but merely to let.it.all.go.
(want Miz’ tips for starting more structured meditation? look here)
Tags: being present, embracing silence, solitude
I love meditation. Its really a great tool to use to focus your energy towards what is important and leave the rest behind. Thanks for the reminder!
Like Rupal, I love meditation also. The problem is, I haven’t been making the time for it. So…I’m taking your challenge – 10 minutes – I should be able to find that! When I’ve done this, when I’ve really concentrated on “quiet” – my days always have started in a refreshing and upbeat way.
On a side note – I did try this earlier this morning – and I began to fall asleep again (what does that say??? maybe I should start with more rest!!)
Many days even finding ten minutes is difficult for me so I am going to start with a few minutes.
But I am going to start.
(I really enjoyed your guest post this weekend!)
Lance? supposedly, according to the FINGERQUOTE experts UNFQ when we nod off during meditation it is because we’ve not yet become able to tease out the inner alert meditative quality from the sheer relaxation/closetosleep of it all.
(I tend to agree with your ‘needing more rest’ assertion
)
AND
I have a date for coffee coming up soon with (DRUMROLL):
when he is back from India and Im certain it is going to happen I shall collect questions for him and yours is already at the top of my list.
I struggle with letting go which is why I avoid yoga and silence.
I am the one who grabs her bluetooth the minute I climb in the car which all indicates Im certain that I need to meditate.
I also need to start slowly and grow use to being withmyself.
RICHARD? too cool, Miz.
Thank you for this post. I need to be reminded of this daily! I am so bad about taking the time to sit still as I am constantly on the go or making to-do lists. I’m doing more yoga which has really helped. I’ve noticed a big difference physically and mentally, but thanks again for the reminder.
Hey, how did the Ren Man enjoy Bikram?
Happy Monday Bumbling Band.
I am here to report that I did bikram with the girlfriend this weekend and lived to tell the tale LOL
I actually liked it although I may never do it again.
10 whole minutes! lol. I would struggle with 1 minute straight. So sad. I guess I will try this along with you…I could definately use the rejouvenation during the day!
Good for you Evan, do tell why maybe never again. Miz I am definitely guilty of not making time for meditation, I know if I tried right now I would fall back asleep but that does not mean I can not try again later today, maybe I’ll start heading out to my car or sneaking into the library at school for a bit.
Hi Erin!
I know the point is that it is hot yoga but it was too hot and slippery for me.
I usually am not a sweater so I’m not accustomed to leaving my workout drenched like that.
I will stick to my cooler yoga but I will try most anything one time.
My girlfriend does it every week.
this is something I really need more of in my life too. When I had a break from all the kids one day last week, I realized it isn’t the amount of work that causes me so much stress…..I don’t mind the work…….it’s the lack of silence. I will start taking the 10 min for me before I exercise and just enjoy the silence. Thanks for the nudge
Well, Ren Man got OUT of bikram this weekend only because of class time conflicts.
He did, however, both do yoga and come *thisclose* to commiting to being MizTerFit.
I’m in seach of my male counterpart for one day a week (guest post thursdays) & who better to fit the bill?
AND he has recently shed 40 pounds.
Fingers crossed…..
Excellent reminder to take time to be still and for anyone (Diana from Diana’s Body Journey) who thinks they can’t do a minute much less 10, just start with a minute and build from there.
For a minute of stillness. Breathe in for 3 seconds and exhale for three seconds focusing only on your breathing, do this 10 times and you’ve just relaxed for a minute.
so true scale junkie and precisely why I use a mantra now no matter how brief my time of meditation (described in link above).
Otherwise I have severe MONKEY MIND.
I tried some silence. It was great until my dog starting humping my foot…. and to think I thought animals were enlightened beings!
This is a great reminder. I find that if I don’t take a moment during the day to decompress, I end up being entirely ineffective at the end of the day. Great post!
I read your post at GoHealthy first and have to be candid with my remark and say that you are overwhelming me, Miz.
I do not have time to meditate and exercise and meal plan to the extent I seem to think you require.
The lack of silence Annette mentioned is what gets me, too. I really like my 30 minute drive home from work,because I can have the radio on or not and just be with myself. It isn’t the same as meditation, but it’s unwind time.
I watch some of the kids at school who can’t stand not being plugged in to their Ipods/MP3s, and I wonder how they can stand the constant noise pounding into their heads. It’s 3 minutes between classes, and they still plug in.
I love silence.
Makes it a challenge when Hugh – at 10- seems to enjoy making noise just for the sake of noise. But we get by.
PS – personal responsibility: I’m trying to instill some of that in the freshmen…they seem to be big time blamers.
thanks helen for your comment as I’m 100% confident you’re not alone with your reaction.
I know with the meditation I end up slamming it in at the end of my a.m. cardio which may NOT be the most optimal time but, as we discussed a while back with regards to the efficacy of the nonmotorized treadmill, IT’S WHEN I WILL DO IT—-SO IT’S THE PERFECT TIME (for me).
You know I also agree with the foodstuff and as I mentioned on the video (I think?) I do end up with fastfood more often than I’d like.
Ordering 2 grilled chicken sandwiches.
Tossing 3/4s of the buns (to the birds).
Slapping the chix on a salad & deeming on OneBunPiece a crouton.
Ten minutes of silence sounds like bliss. And if it means I need less sleep (or will function better on the “less sleep” that I already get) I’m all for it. I should be able to fit in 10 minutes when I get home from work, before the Hubs comes home.
I am so bad at this! Does showering count? I think that is the only time I am focused on just relaxing and not doing 20 things.
IMO that’s the perfect time, Erica.
and entirely what I used to do until life thrust a Tornado at me and my showering consists of (TMI ALERT) of a quickfasthurryTRYNOTTOSLICEOFFLEGS in & out with the shower door open whilst freezing my ass off.
i take my big scary PhD qualifier exams this week. (gets up, runs around screaming while alos pulling hair out) so blogs are my silent space at the moment. Maybe next week I will have one day, one whole day where its just me and the ceilling..a staring match! I look forward to it!
My mind will not shut down; I have tried for years, it just starts making to-do lists. I need to have noise to be quiet.
I was recently assigned to jury duty and had days of silence while I was waiting to be selected for a jury. Not the same as meditation but some down time all the same.
I’m taking your challenge! I used to be a frequent meditator, and I know it really helped me push through a really tough year. But, as often happens, laziness won out and my meditation has fallen by the wayside.
I’ll be going back to the basics and starting with just 5 minutes of meditation, but I’ll find extra minutes of silence throughout the day. Showering, like Erica mentioned, and my traditional afternoon stairwalking, where I go to get away from work for a few minutes.
Thanks for the kick in the pants, Miz!
The Bag Lady has the opposite problem. Sometimes it is just too quiet….
Great post, though, for those people out there who actually have a life!
Hee! You and cranky are on the same wavelength today! How on earth do you always manage to hone in on the things I’m BAD at? I really suck at meditating. To the point where I’ve considered doing a whole Experiment on it since it’s supposed to be so good for you and I never do it:)
I love silence… and I’m getting better at calming my mind. It does wonders for me!
Hi Miz. What you don’t know about this particular member of the tribe is that way back when I lived in a inter-religious house- trying to create dialogue to reduce religious tensions on a very very small scale. The year I spent there also involved 3 nuns from different orders, a buddhist, a hindu and a wiccan. Every second day, we would have some quiet time as a group. This is how we got into it:
We would play some soothing music- Enya seemed to be a perennial favourite for maybe three minutes, then we were encouraged to look into the flame of a candle. The focus on the ever changing flame gave me enough to think about that very soon I could remain quite focussed rather than having my worries intrude on any mantra.
The meditation lasted only as long as you were comfortable, which meant that sometimes it lasted 5 minutes, and sometimes it lasted hours.
I hope that helps some of the bumbling band.
Ok, the world is conspiring to remind me that I should be meditating. This clearly is the answer to “what should I be working on this week.”
I saw both videos too. And frankly, as a kid I liked my parents when they were relaxed and had taken care of themselves much more than when they were stressed and adding more to the stress. It always made me feel like there was a fight about to happen.
Now that I think about it, I have a lot of time to be quiet. Getting ready in the morning, I don’t want to wake the sleeping hubs, so I don’t turn on any music or tv – that’s at least 30 minutes of quiet (minus the time it takes to dry my hair). Then I work alone in an office all day and most of the time I have the radio on, but I may start taking time to turn it off and just enjoy the silence (also the name of my favorite Depeche Mode song). Then there’s the commute to and from work, where I could have silence as well (except for the purr of the engine). I think I need to focus on INTENTIONALLY enjoying the silence – maybe a few minutes of meditation after lunch? Excellent suggestion Miz – I’ll work on this one.
Morning Miz! My mind is bending…..thank you!
I meditate daily for about 20 to 30 minutes. I started with 5 minutes several years ago and quite frankly it was torture. Silence is frightening and at the same time so liberating. My day is more productive and focused when I meditate.
10 minutes per day can be extremely overwhelming for people. As a meditation instructor I always suggest starting with 1 to 5, consistently – even if that means once a week. As with most things in life, new habits require consistent practice, patience and commitment.
I also want to point out that monkey mind and thoughts are part of the process. They will not go away. The point of meditation is to practice presence – so choosing one thing to focus on whether breath or a mantra, as you point out, helps you “come back” when your mind wanders. Meditation is not about clearing thought, it’s about losing attachment to thought and bringing your attention back to the present moment (or breath). Our thoughts are not the present moment.
This is a great reminder about the importance of slowing down. Thanks!
I am the distracter of the worst and most stereotypical sort. I am not comfortable with the silence as I’m afraid of the thoughts that might intrude if I turned of the tv, music, hung up the phone.
It terrifies me.
I will try today. One minute to start.
Love ya Miz.
I’m a playground/lunch monitor at an elementary school, and it’s about a 10 minute bike ride away. So every weekday, I get my silence riding to and from the school. There are only two spots where I actually have to watch for cross traffic, so it’s a pretty mellow, contemplative ride for me.
One of the big payoffs (for me) of yoga is the 5-10 minutes I take at the end to enjoy the “fruits of the practice.” At first I thought I was falling asleep, but it’s not that. I truly am suspended from the world, and all I have to do is breathe and enjoy.
I need to practice yoga more.
I agree with #35 that even ten minutes was a great deal for me when I begun meditation.
Start with 5 maximum and you won’t grow quickly frustrated.
I look forward to you reporting back on Richard!
Teddi
[**************]
(trying to find a clever way to indicate silence in my comment. didn’t work)
Love the idea – I find I need more sleep than I used to, ESPECIALLY after a big workout. Who has time for an extra hour of sleep? It would be worth ten minutes’ experiment.
I love that you led off with the personal responsibility theme, because this is one of those things that IS under my control, and I’m not sure why at the end of the day I think it’s a better stress release to watch tv for an hour rather than meditate for just 10-20 minutes (and then watch tv if I still want!). Why does being quiet and still have to seem like “work?” Especially since when I was in meditating and finding time for regular stillness in the past, I had a MUCH easier time getting to sleep and did sleep more deeply.
Let’s see, we’re leaving San Diego and heading up highway 5 for about five hundred miles or so today, and the Lobster does most of the driving, so this is a good day to start the challenge!
Just hope I don’t forget…
Thanks so much for this reminder!
Silence can be so good. I never did get why some people are afraid of silence (like some are afraid to be alone). It’s a nice change. I find that I don’t listen to music all that often and I can sit comfortably with people without talking- guess I’m just not a super vocal person. But I really noticed when my sister went away for a week and she wasn’t around to play her music and all that the apartment was SUPER quiet.
I like to hear my own thoughts! I think we can know ourselves a little better when we experience the silence.
I could not love this more. Remember the old saying, “Silence is Golden”? I know teachers used to say that in class to remind us not to talk…but it’s so true. Silence is…definitely more precious than gold to me.
Anyone who got a holiday card from me probably has figured out that one of my favorite quotes is from the Desiderata – “Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.” (The whole work is amazing and I have it on my vision board, in fact.) There is SUCH peace in silence…
For me, most often, meditation is exactly that – simply sitting in silence and bringing my mind gently back to stillness whenever it strays. And I do try to find time every day to do that – but that’s really not enough, is it? Finding time isn’t what I should be doing; I should be MAKING time for it. And I shall.
Silence feeds the soul. At least, it feeds mine.
And mine desperately needs feeding right now, because I’m having trouble staying centered and in control. Thanks for the reminder, Miz!
V.
peeking in.
One of the best skills I learned when getting my masters in counseling (Not using. Still paying. Good times.) was to sit with silence with regards to client sessions.
It took a while but eventually I was able to translate that to myself.
It’s such human nature (Miz nature?) to wanna fill the void with SOUND.
Will have to watch this tonight since I’m at work.. I LOVED ‘Eat Pray Love’ and can’t wait to see the post w/Richard!… I need to read the book again.. I also would like to work on incorporating some meditation into my day.. I think it may help with my racing mind at night. no? Have a great day Miz!
Not one for silence here. I like music too much. Like being silent.
OK. I am going to try the silent med. thing. I do silence, but not meditating.
Those who have trouble doing so: there are studies showing that a simple repetitive action – walking or knitting – will often center the body. If you pay attention to the movement and breath with it it’s a great way to meditate.
There is also a book called Lunchtime Enlightenment that gives lots of suggestions for quick meditiations. Including;
LAUGHING!!
I struggle with this. Meditating leaves me sitting there and my mind wanders and wanders. This was my big problem with yoga for so many years, I was bored mentally and would wander instead of release. I have been doing a yoga for athletes that is pretty intense for me so my mind stays totally focused on my body and how I feel.
I find that activities that I can do, like knitting or folding laundry or kneading bread by hand or even working a speed bag, things that are repetitive clear my mind. Focusing on that one task and letting everything else go.
I would love to develop this skill – I cannot for whatever reason turn my brain off. Hubby calls it crazy brain. He however has no problem tuning the world out. This is something I am really going to work on this year!!
Not one for silence here. I like music too much. Like being silent.
——–
I love your comment TB because you make such a good point. In a post to come TB will share with us some musings on music but, suffice it to say, it’s his meditation.
which leads me to wonder if you think OTHER THINGS can be meditation?
I have runnerfriends who insist that their running is entirely restorative and meditative.
(Ive not run to that point yet)
For me the weights serve many purposes but meditation isnt one of them…
I find that I need to have my hands occupied to feel my mind.
I wonder if there are monks out there who meditate while doing? why do I think not.
ok i’m in.
you know what got me? You are going to meet Richard From Texas.
I read Eat, Pray Love and I have to tell you, I read it out of duty. I didn’t hate the book, but it didn’t have that OOOO AAAHHH effect it seems to have had on so so many people. I kept thinking it would happen in the next chapter. And for me, it didn’t.
BUT.
I loved Richard from Texas. The smartest, most insightful, funniest, no BS person in the whole book.
And so, because in my strangely wired head, I will set a timer once a day for 5 minutes. And in those 5 minutes i will either sit up straight, or stand in the shower and say over and over again “Embrace the Silence”..and try really hard not to let all the other voices in there start reminding me of what could rhyme with embrace, huh..some lace..lace..space..need to clean up this space, i wonder if we need a new shower curtain..
LOL meditation and A.D.D…if only i could have a webcam in my head, i’d make billions!
at yoga (this morning) instructor had us plug our ears for listening to our breath – expanding our rib cage – centering our mind – very good/new way of thinking about it.
I think meditative practices can be used in a lot of situations. I’ve gotten better at sitting and being still, but my most fulfilling meditative practice is the simple bodily repetition of the treadmill. I love it.
I also use meditative practices and mantra recitation for pain relief. I can substantially reduce (or eliminate) the need for pain meds with this kind of focus/ relaxation.
I’ll tell you, I used to be so type A that I couldn’t just sit and “be” for 5 or 10 minutes. I now can go somewhere (I like the mountains, sea shore, or zoo) and just sit and appreciate the stillness and beauty. It took a LOT of self discipline at first, which I guess seems like the opposite of meditation. But for me, stillness was a real struggle.
I am not a very good meditator. I get my meditation done during the first 10 minutes of trying to sleep and during bathroom times. Was that okay to say?
life is intruding but I had to quick shoutout:
FabKate for point out the pain relief benefit of meditation.
Lisa for making me laugh at her description of the whole EPL reading shebang for her (I got an email from Richard last week & he’s currently in India. here’s hoping he’s not…flaky and really follows up/shows up)
POD for the peepeepotty comment (ToddlerMama much? I know.)
and I leave you with my mental image of monks folding laundry.
I meditate or pray right before going to bed, and there is something that triggers in my head–I always “finish”, but then I’m asleep within minutes. If I’m not, I know there’s something I’m struggling with that I have to take care of (so, meditation is not only therapuetic, it’s diagnostic, and it’s free!
About this silence thing and finding time… after my divorce, I had a counselor advise me to incorporate a daily “seven minutes of silence” for my boys (who were 2 and 6) and myself. So, after I got home from work, we would all retreat to our rooms and be quiet for seven minutes. They had a really hard time in the beginning, because they always wanted to talk and interact. We were also so used to having the TV or music on (stimulation!). After about a week, those seven minutes became golden, and they began entertaining themselves in their own private enviroment. Now, they are 8 & 12, and I don’t even have to call it, because now they recognize that they need silent, alone time.
I fully agree, Mizfit, that you have to schedule the time into your day, and just plan for it. We schedule our professional and family time. We *over*schedule our children. Personal responsibilty means we schedule things, like meditation and silence, for ourselves. Love this post. Thank you!
Miz I tottaly agree here! I think being still is an art that I seem to need to brush up on. Yesterday afternoon I layed down and took a nap for 2 hours, haven’t done that in forever! It’s hard for me to rest my mind, but I know that I need it!
*tiptoes sheepishly in*
I was just thinking about this yesterday. I used to meditate and pray regularly, and I’ve gotten out of the habit. I was thinking yesterday about what a difference it made and how I have to get back to it.
I’m busted.
Be silent? 10 minutes?? I don’t know if I can do that.
I think I’ll start with 2 minutes and build it up from there.
This is such an obvious post.
Nothing new here at all.
SO WHY AM I NOT THERE YET?
I know I need to unplug more so that I have more to give.
And who ever said above about sleeping better? really true for me too.
Thank you for the reminder.
yeah marste. about that slacking…
She found us through MizFit Food of the Month (the tater!) & returned for more.
She’s with the United States Potato Board!
Hey, I do do it in the shower! Can that possibly count?
Then I’m good. I don’t know how to officially meditate and have a soothing calm. I bet it could work well for me though.
Belated reply to my earlier one, but I just have a hard time with the quiet without anxiety popping it’s stupid head. I’m getting there though…getting used to being with myself and my thoughts and not being harsh or anxity ridden.
No! I cant! I can meditate when im dead….
I think the fact that i cant, means i need it the most
Kelly Turner
http://www.everygymsnightmare.com
I took a nap today–does that count? It was totally necessary because I was exhausted, but it was unnecessary in that I should have gone to bed earlier last night anyway.
I’m not sure if my naps count as silence, though, since I have such vivid weird dreams. I need to work on actual awake silence more, I think. It’s very hard to shut up my busy frivolous little brain.
Need it. Thanks for the reminder.
I feel as if my pilates yoga centers me, but now that I think about it, I am never completely silent. Nor does my mind ever completely shut off. So, after my workout today, I am going to try the ten minutes of silence. Great suggestion. Thanks for continuing to bring interesting things to my attention.
I definitely vote for Ren Man being MizTerFit.
Flabbergasted because I’ve been thinking about how I could use more MEDITATION in my life. Do you read minds Miz? Seriously, during shivasana at yoga I could. Not. Shut. My. Mind. Up. And realized I needed more practice, and it does take practice. I’ve taken a meditation class before so I KNOW what I need to do, it’s just a matter of doing it. Oh, yes, that’s what you mean about personal responsibility…
And one more thing. Me still paying for grad degree too. And even though I’m blogging for free more than I’m getting paid to write, it’s still worth it. A year in Chicago as a full-time student? Priceless!
What a great thought. I may have to do this before bedtime. A way to clear my mind before going to sleep. I’m going to do this tonight. I used to meditate daily and the word I used whenever something would pop into my mind was “stillness” as in still the mind.
I could definitely use more silence in my day. Think the kids would go for trying to embrace the silence too? lol I might have to do my embracing after their bedtime. Thanks for the suggestion.
Popping in again because I’m a MizFit-aholic…I admit it.
The comments about teaching kids about quiet time I think are very cool…I try to find time, whenever we go up to the lake, to get my younger daughter to sit outside with me for a few minutes just “listening”. She was resistant, too, at first (she has NO internal monologue, but boy, does she have an ongoing EXTERNAL one!) but after a little bit, she was fascinated by all the things she could *hear* in the “silence”. Birds, the wind in the trees, the water running…
Like anything else, it’s fun if you make it into a bit of a game. And it’s sooo nice to just sit with them and, well, embrace the silence.
V.
peeking in…had to shoutout to Valerie & her suggestion about children & listening to nature.
Im woman enough to admit that hadnt occurred to me before and Im SO gonna try it with the Tornado to see if I can sneak in some silence mid-day.
I am really going to put this back into my routine. From the time I get up until the time I get to bed I am constantly working on my to do list and I don’t sleep well because of it.
I am very guilty of being go go go all day long and think that for the most part we reward that type in our society.
I needed this reminder to slow down and to know that it is ok to do it in small baby steps not for an hour all at once.
thanks for the facetime miz!
love it, miz!! love the silence. i embrace the silence. sometimes it’s in the car, sometimes it’s during naps, the cell goes off, the tv goes off and i just sit and literally stare into space. i don’t do it nearly as much as i should (and people get really mad when i don’t answer my phone for some reason because i choose silence over filling the air with mindless chatter sometimes) but i really do try. mostly because i need it. bad.
Great facetime, mizfit! And the comments, too.
I like Meredith’s official daily quiet time for everyone. I generally give my kids 10-15 minutes of free time after school pickup before starting homework, but they usually spend the time squabbling. Makes late afternoon chaotic, to say the least.
I think my whole gang could benefit from this challenge. Five to ten minutes each afternoon, for seven days. It’ll have to start Tuesday though, because they’re all in bed now – and there is NO WAY I’m getting them back up. This quiet time is all mine.
You have HAWT arms Miz!
my Dad is a buddhist priest, and lived in Japan and Hawaii for many years practicing Buddhism as a monk. I have always grown up watching him “sit” (meditate), and so it holds a strong & comforting image in my head. Though I don’t meditate, my Mom has often urged me to try it, as it works to be not only a huge stress reliever, but a great energy booster. As you mentioned, 10 minutes of successful meditation can be of far greater benefit than 10 min of sleep in terms of “rest” for our bodies.
Maybe someday I will introduce the practice into my daily or weekly routine…..but for now I just look at it with great respect as a wonderful and powerful tool for our minds and bodies.
Dude… your arms… amazing. That’s all I’m going to say. Back to my cheeseburgers now.
this is my first morning where I got up and took time for SILENCE.
thank you thank you
glidingcalm? that is so interesting about your dad.
I left you a comment at your blog as well but Id love to hear more…
I learned this year’s ago watching Monty Python’s “The Meaning of Life!”
We are so caught up in the busyness of it all that we don’t take the time to allow our souls to develop, or something close to that. If you’ve seen the movie, it can be a disconcerting moment, but that’s Monte!
That’s a great idea. Even when I am silent, I am usually doing something. I need to do nothing and be silent – like at the end of yoga.